DEAR ABBY: I started experiencing migraines sometimes as a youngster, however in my early 20s, they grew to become a daily prevalence. I attempted unsuccessfully for years to determine my triggers, reducing issues from my food regimen and surroundings earlier than realizing a couple of 12 months in the past that I’m triggered by smoke.
My husband — my finest buddy and the love of my life — who I’ve been with for the reason that age of 21, is a smoker. I’ve tried to speak to him about it, however he turns into damage and defensive as a result of he’s delicate about his habit and isn’t positive my “idea” is right. He has all the time been cautious to not smoke in our house or automobiles, solely outdoors, however I scent it on his fingers and clothes even hours after a cigarette. Additional complicating the matter is that he has by no means had a way of scent and isn’t satisfied that an odor lingers on him.
We’ve a wonderful, affectionate marriage and virtually by no means struggle. Nonetheless, I’m realizing I’ve a slow-growing resentment that’s fed every time he sits subsequent to me or I need to snuggle up with him, solely to be hit with a sensation finest described as an ice decide to my temple. I’m devastated that that is affecting my almost good picture of this glorious man.
I’ve to this point been unwilling to nag or demand he cease, as this isn’t the kind of spouse I need to be. He has many superb qualities, and I really feel horrible that my coronary heart is pulling again due to this one factor. Please assist with what to do. — HURTING HEAD IN OHIO
DEAR HURTING HEAD: The very first thing it is best to do is talk about your migraines along with your physician to make certain that the scent of tobacco is what’s triggering them. If what you assume is true, then you definitely and your husband ought to schedule a session along with your doctor so the DOCTOR can clarify it to your fantastic partner.
There isn’t any denying that cigarette smoke clings to the hair, pores and skin and clothes of a daily smoker lengthy after the final puff. On the optimistic aspect, this can be an ideal alternative in your husband to rid himself of an costly behavior that’s doubtlessly harmful to his well being.
DEAR ABBY: My finest buddy, “Ellie,” has a jealousy drawback. She needed to introduce me to a different woman, “Mica,” who was beginning a brand new craft and on the lookout for assist to get began. Ellie gave my cellphone quantity to Mica, who contacted me and got here to my home for directions.
I instructed Ellie that Mica had referred to as and that we’d arrange a time for Mica to come back over. When Ellie heard that, she received actually upset as a result of she needed to introduce us. Now, if I point out Mica’s title, my finest buddy shuts down. Abby, I’m undecided deal with jealousy. It’s not an emotion I really feel. Please assist. — GOOD INTENTIONS IN ARKANSAS
DEAR GOOD INTENTIONS: Shuts down? Since you met with Mica with out Ellie being current? That appears not solely infantile but additionally controlling. “Deal with” this by refraining from mentioning Mica’s title to Ellie.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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