Saturday, June 28, 2025
HomeCookingMy Beans are Homosexual

My Beans are Homosexual


My beans are homosexual. Let me clarify.

This morning I used to be messing round with Fb Reside Streaming. You already know, that new factor the place you level your telephone’s digicam at your self and hope lots of people will watch your antics. However I really had a query I wanted recommendation on from my Fb followers.

You’ll see from the video above that I unintentionally planted Royal Burgundy Bush Beans. I say “unintentionally” as a result of 1.) I assumed I had planted pole beans (and was desperately making an attempt to make them climb—which the crops, for some inexplicable motive, refused to do), and a couple of.) I didn’t contemplate the colour purple even when there was a basket of plump purple beans on the package deal. I figured it meant Burgundy as in Burgundy, France, or, you realize, Burgundy, Wisconsin. (Is there a Burgundy, Wisconsin?)

However what I discovered this morning after I was weeding have been dozens of beautiful purple beans! I imply Prince-worthy purple beans. I used to be shocked and excited. So at breakfast I risked public ridicule and, whereas unkempt and unshaved, I pulled out my telephone, began streaming and requested my followers for strategies for find out how to cook dinner these jewel-toned gems. To my dismay, what I heard many times was that they flip inexperienced when cooked. Unattainable! (That must be mentioned with a French accent to go together with my French accident.)

I doubted each single one that instructed me that. One way or the other, I felt my beans have been higher, particular, that they’d retain their excellent, flamboyant, outrageous shade of purple. However sadly, as they blanched within the water, the colour blanched from them. They ended up wanting like pedestrian, run-of-the-mill, supermarket-variety beans.

Backside line: Royal Burgundy Bush Beans are nothing greater than queeny poseur inexperienced beans in colourful drag.

I’m as disillusioned as after I found there was no Santa Claus and that the majority males grossly overestimate the size of a real, U.S.-standard inch. (Give it some thought. It’ll hit in you a minute or two.)

Blanched Green BeansBlanched Green BeansSo, right here they’re. My blush-less, colorless, deeply discouraging Royal Burgundy Bush Beans. So far as style, they have been marvelous: candy and a bit earthy. I served them with a drizzle of chive blossom vinegar and a spritz of sea salt. However they have been nonetheless inexperienced.

Inform me: How do your serve your traitorous purple (learn: inexperienced inexperienced beans)?

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