DEAR ABBY: My husband and I not too long ago moved out of state. His solely residing relative, a sister, not too long ago came over. She has by no means been married. She is a retired skilled and has an excellent retirement, particularly since she has no youngsters.
Throughout her go to, she gave us a housewarming greeting card with a $50 Visa present card. This was uncommon as she has by no means in 50 years given us cash. (She’s very tight together with her cash and at all times insists on paying for her a part of any restaurant invoice individually.)
Whereas she was right here, I made a remark about her paying for a $5 espresso for her brother, and she or he grew to become extremely offended. (I knew she could be, so I form of goaded her.) She then talked about the $50 present card she gave us and mentioned I most likely didn’t even inform her brother about it regardless that he was within the room when she gave it to us.
We don’t want her cash, and I wish to mail it again to her and say thanks for the thought, however we don’t want it. What do you suppose I ought to do? — THANKS, NO THANKS, IN FLORIDA
DEAR THANKS: Actually? I believe that fairly than attempt to create extra issues along with your sister-in-law, it is best to write her and apologize to your remark in regards to the $5 espresso. As a substitute of returning the present card, be gracious and settle for it. Disgrace on you for knowingly stirring the pot.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a widow. My accomplice died 10 months in the past. We have been collectively for seven years however by no means married. I’ve now discovered a accomplice who’s 12 years youthful than I’m. We love one another and wish to be married. My drawback is, he’s solely separated from his spouse. He says he doesn’t need her and he hates her as a result of she betrayed him. They’re getting a divorce, but when I stick with him, I really feel that I’ll be stepping between them. What ought to I do — keep and hope for the very best, or depart him? — IN THE MIDDLE IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: This romance is in its infancy. You could have been widowed for less than 10 months. There’s knowledge within the adage that after a trauma just like the one you could have suffered, an individual ought to make no essential choices for a yr.
Has this man or his spouse filed the divorce papers, or is he solely fascinated about it? If the papers have been filed, then you aren’t coming between him and his spouse. Divorce will also be traumatic, and, frankly, I’m stunned that this man would ponder remarriage earlier than his divorce is remaining. Fairly than resolve whether or not to depart him, take your time and see how this relationship performs out.
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DEAR READERS: Completely happy Father’s Day to fathers in every single place — start fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers and all of you caring males who mentor youngsters and fill the function of absent dads.
P.S. Additionally, a giant shout-out to dual-role mothers. I applaud you all — in the present day and daily. — LOVE, ABBY
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
