DEAR ABBY: I used to be sexually abused as a toddler. Due to this, as an grownup girl, I’ve points round being touched. I’ve had remedy, and I’m doing significantly better, however I’m nonetheless uncomfortable with bodily contact. I merely request that folks ask me earlier than they contact me, and I normally agree.
The problem is my mother-in-law. She refuses to ask earlier than touching me and infrequently pulls me into undesirable hugs or comes up behind me. I’ve defined to her about my historical past, so she is aware of why I would like her to ask me first, however she brushes it off and says she isn’t going to harm me. One time she mentioned, “What? Do you assume I’m going to assault you?” No, I don’t assume she goes to assault me. This subject is about me, not her, however she doesn’t perceive that.
My husband throws up his palms and refuses to become involved, as he hates being put within the center. How can I make her perceive that I want her to ask earlier than placing her palms on me? — PROTECTIVE IN ILLINOIS
DEAR PROTECTIVE: Inform your mother-in-law as soon as extra, when you find yourself each calm, that due to your historical past of abuse you do not need to be touched with out first being requested. If she says, “Do you assume I’m going to assault you?” your response must be, “That’s EXACTLY what it appears like! It appears like I’m being assaulted. DON’T DO IT!”
If she does it after that, then, for my part, you’ve gotten each proper to defend your self.
P.S. Your wimp of a husband must be there throughout this dialog.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
